6th March 1998

I must be the weirdest person on Earth. For some odd reason, I don't want to hear the Titanic love theme or see that movie or watch the MTV of the Moffat's I'll Be There For You. Well, because Titanic is kinda mushy, so is the song and for the MTV, it's really mushy because in the MTV, there's a part where this girl kisses the guy. Reminds me of...*shudder* nevermind.... Okay, so the truth is, I'm kind of bummed when I hear or see those songs and the movie because I can say I am in love (!?) but he just likes me as a friend. Just nice, friend kind of thing. Nothing more. Nada. Zip. It kind of bugs me when I think about it. Okay, it really bugs me when I think about it. Really really bugs me. Because I wonder, "Why doesn't he like me? Is it because I don't have something other girls don't have?" I'm just totally clueless about what he thinks about me. Aside from the fact that he likes me as a friend. I wouldn't really like it though, if he was too fast and aggressive, especially if he expects me to hug or kiss him or something. *shudder* I do not kiss or hug or whatever guys. Everyone knows that. To be honest, I'm a little bit worried when I go to the States because....because...coz....nevermind.

But for petesakes, I'm only a kid. Why do I worry about a measly guy who is a million years older than I am? He's just a normal, everyday person.

I'm already inspired to give up on him. What am I saying? I'm going wild. I really should go to bed now. Before I say something totally insane like, "How I would love to go over his place and kill him."

How I wish sometimes guys weren't invented.