date: july 31, 1999
time: 9:30 pm
title: the fiery of burning desire
feeling: strangely fine
ra file of the day: tlc fanmail i miss you so much
you're listening to:real audio or my radio
quote for the day: "the madman who knows that he is mad is close to sanity"- juan ruiz de alarcon
guess what? i feel so much better after that outburst. and i'm over him. all in a day. it's so weird, but i suppose that means that i didn't really love him. who needs miko when there's a whole army of guys running after me? that's right. today at choir practice, i found out from lester's aunt that ever since lester and his friends (including cyril--that caught my attention) started visiting my webpage, i've always been a topic of conversation among them. they all wanted to meet me, but it seemed to them that they were stuck on a dead end because lester finds me "unreachable". he says i'm too quiet--can you believe that? he doesn't know that the reason why i totally shy away from him is because i think he's a snob and is way obsessed with that apple person to talk to anyone else. i had no idea he wanted to be friends with me. oh, and cyril's fling with marina was a thing to make me jealous. he'd had a secret crush on me all along!
i don't suppose they read my webpage anymore--and so what if they do. at least cyril knows i'm available. at least ten other guys know i'm available.
yesterday must've been national break-up day. i had witnessed an important fight during the club activity--the jock and the girl i mentioned the other day had a fight about something. they weren't screaming or anything, but the girl was crying a lot. it was weird, but i secretly enjoyed watching them fight. probably because both of them were seniors and they must've influenced the juniors and the sophomores to totally ignore us freshmen. it's so unfair the way they look at us freshmen as "just a freshman". it sounds to me like the equivalent of "just a booger out of reach stuck waaaaay in your nose" or "just one of millions of sperm--papunta ka pa lang, pa balik na ako (been there, done that)".
my sister is such a lazy ass--she sleeps all day and complains about how much work they give in the sixth grade. puh-lease! sixth grade is a piece of cake compared to the work they heap upon freshmen right now. unit tests, endless projects, not to mention the constant bullying of the seniors. if she can't handle all that baby work they are giving her right now, she is not going to make it out of high school. after all that whining, she eats like she's never been fed before and complains she's getting too fat. there's something about sixth grade that gives people severe brain damage which causes them to act like morons.
about my scoliosis--i decided that getting a backbrace is like being confined to chains for the rest of your life. my spine has 3 curves all angled at 22 % or something [that's why i'm short] and if my back gets worse when i come back to the doctor next year, i'm definitely gonna need one. the back brace i'm going to wear is the one where the support thingie is attached from the waist up to your neck and worn 23 hours a day for 2 fricking years. turtlenecks until sixteen! plus it's super hot since it's made out of plastic. i'll probably move to baguio city [coldest part of this country] where the shopping totally rules, but i'll have to steer clear out of tank tops as i'll look like a robot in them. torture! i could also move to san francisco or cleveland, ohio [where my mom's siblings live] if they find a good school for me. while waiting for a year, i have to swim everyday so the back pain isn't so bad.
exam week next week. i hate exams, they're so pointless. we have unit tests and i'd rather we have that.
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