For a Saturday, today was kind of boring. I did nothing but play games in my PlayStation and I'm happy to report two things. First is that I finished Clock Tower II. Second is that I finally understand that card game in Final Fantasy VIII so I'm back to playing it again. I told Stephen those things when he called me up but he didn't seem too interested. Not even a "wow, cool" or anything like that. He just went on asking asking me questions about Clock Tower II. Well, that's Stephen for ya. He doesn't give a damn about anyone else's achievements except for his and Alex's. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother hanging out with them.

Michelle called around noon and asked me if I was coming to school to watch rehearsals. I said, "Nahh, I can't," even though I really wanted to see her and my friends in the cast. My real reason for not going is that I thought that me and my friends in the neighborhood would do the usual Saturday afternoon stuff, but I didn't want to tell her that. I mumbled some excuse about the car being used today and she was like, "Oh, okay." After exchanging a bit of gossip about CK and stuff, she had to hang up cause her credits were running out (she was using a payphone at school). And then we hung up, and I went back to my Playstation.

Now, I think that I'm a moron for putting my friends in the village first before my friends in school. I mean, I've only got less than two months to be with Michelle and everyone and a whole year to do usual Saturday afternoon stuff with the gang in the neighborhood. It's times like these when I feel real sad thinking about leaving my friends in school forever. I'd hate to sound ungrateful or what, but I think they're more fun than my friends in the village. Around here, I always end up doing what Stephen or Alex want. Like for example, they decide to go to my house even though I'm not in the mood for any visitors and I go, "Okay, sure." And then most of the time, I feel kind of sorry for John but I end up tormenting him anyways, cause that's what they want. *sigh* I don't usually allow people to tell me what to do. I dunno what's wrong with me. I wish I had gone to school instead.

Anyway, the bit of cheerful news is Martin's coming to the Philippines in two months since his dad will have some business to do here. Whoo-hoo! Finally. It's good timing too cause by then it'll be my summer break. I could see him everyday. I know it's a bit early, but I've already planned out the stuff we'd be doing. We'll be going to Old Manila (Walled City), the famous sunset at the Manila bay (not so we could be romantic) and to the mall. Usual tourist stuff. I haven't gone to some of them myself so it'll be good for both of us. I can't wait.

The temple next door is making a real racket. Honestly, I wish they'd just worship in silence. Silence is supposed to be good worship atmosphere, according to the hypocrite teachers in my school. I honestly think they're hypocrites because they scold us for not being active in the daily worship. But when we try to include them in the worship by assigning them to say a prayer, they refuse to do it. So who's not being active now? Teachers are so totally unfair.

I'm writing this because I think someone is being paranoid about racism existing in the Philippines. Yes, in the Philippines. Strange, no? I don't think racism exists here anymore. Well, it still does but it isn't as terrible as it was in the 1600 or whenever that slave trade was (I hate history) for other countries. And that you know, people still imagine it's there but it really isn't. Time has changed. We need to change. This is the year 2000; leave the racist stuff that happened in the past to textbooks and to grandmother-type history teachers and learn from it. Repeat after me: racism is so 1800s. Racism is so 1800s. My dad of all people, an American mestizo , was against us for going to Missouri because he said that there were a lot of racists out there. (Strange coming from someone whose great grandfather came from Iowa.) He said we might get shot or something. And as far as I know, I don't have any bullet holes on my body. Sure, we were the only Asians I saw, (which I found so cool), but I didn't feel racism in the air or anything like that.

So maybe there are still some racists in Missouri but I didn't get that in my head. The point is, if you think that there is racism, you'll feel racism. And just because people treat you differently, it doesn't automatically mean that they're racists. What if they're not used to your culture? What if you're not used to theirs? You can't blame everything to racial discrimination. It's just misunderstanding and culture shock. Or plain ignorance. The key is to understand all types of cultures so you can adjust. I id my share when I used to be part of this cultural exchange program of our choir and our manager would always brief us on what to expect from our hosts whether they are Whites, Asians, etc. and it was no big deal. So chill, all right?

The main problem in the Philippines is not racism, but social discrimination. It exists far more than racism. I know cause my friends and I are like that. I mean, for example, if we see a not-so-rich girl trying to dress well, we laugh at her and all that crap. Our name for a poor person, any poor person, is squatter. And I have to admit, I'm guilty for calling them that and making fun of those squatters. Money is the key to success and a good social life around here. If you don't have it, you're nothing. I think that correcting social discrimination is what we should be worried about. I'd rather debate about that than something so 1800s. I'll talk about this some other time.

Gotta go, dinner's ready.