Gosh, I can't believe it's Friday already. I don't think I'll be going out tonight so hmm, I wonder who I'll be talking on the phone with. Not Kristel, she's at a birthday party of some popular chick in my grade. Kali's invited and she'll probably stay there until he leaves. I don't know if Michelle is insomniac like me. I'm not sure she'd appreciate a late-night call. Maybe I'll talk to Maxie tonight. And if she's asleep, I'll just play Final Fantasy 8 or continue reading Girl by Blake Nelson. I know I won't be doing anything exciting tonight but even so, there's something about Fridays that make me unusually happy.

Stephen just called. Looks like he's free. I'm going out tonight! I remember Yam telling me in one of her earlier e-mails that Stephen was kinda shallow. Well, she didn't say the exact same words I used, but it was something like that. And I can't help but agree with her. I've noticed that I've never had any philosophical/deep conversations with him. We could talk for hours, but not about anything "deep". It's usually FF8, gimmicks, sex, FF8, gimmicks, sex. It sounds immature but what the heck. Maybe we talk a lot about sex because I can't even talk about sex to my girl friends! I could, but they'd probably think I secretly work as a Saturday-night slut and therefore won't hang out with me anymore. I remember the day I told them what 69 meant, and they were speechless for about a minute. Then reactions came. "Eww, gross!" "Lauryn, you perv! Where do you get that stuff?" I should correct myself when I said my friends understood everything about me. They do, except for my knowledge of sex. The odd thing? They're all older than me. Fourteen, fifteen. I'm the youngest and the most knowledgeble about sex in the group. Yet when I'm around my sex-freak friends like Peter , I feel like I know nothing. Weird, huh?

I guess I should talk about The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky and Girl by Blake Nelson in relation with the sex talk. The Perks of being a Wallflower was pretty good, but I can't relate to it. Most parts are inapplicable to my culture and values. But there's something about Mary Elizabeth that reminds me of me but not in the way that she likes to have sex . Sam though reminds me of one of my friends when he told me a long time ago: "I don't want you to love me that way". I still love him anyway but that way ? Well... the answer is in the book.

But I have to read the book again. I do have some lesbian friends in class, but they don't go screwing each other or anything like that. And what with our parents being paranoid about our safety and all that, I can't imagine myself having dates like that. I don't even think I'm a wallflower. I mean, I'm pretty quiet and I listen more than I tell stories, but I also make an effort to get noticed, you know? I want to do a lot of stuff. The book is good, but I would probably enjoy it more if I had similar experiences. Smoking is common among some teens . Stuff like sex and drugs are very rare around where I live. I know it happens though but not among my circle of friends or schoolmates.

Girl's okay too. I'm not done with it yet, though, but I feel like I can't relate. I'd probably hate my crush if all he wanted from me was sex. The virginity issue is kinda getting on my nerves. I wouldn't want to have sex just cause everyone's doing it, it's the most stupid thing I'd do to myself. It's just too whore-ish. I will always believe in my Catholic upbringing. Oh yes, I talk about it and ask questions because it's all about growing up. But I roll my eyes all the time in Values Education and that makes me feel like I'm a high school dropout.

I just like to read because it's good to know what's happening to everything around me, but I don't necessarily have to believe everything in the book.

Whoo hoo, Stephen's coming over. Not that I'm excited about it or anything. I mean, my bratty little brother would probably pester us all night, which is so not fun. But at least I'm gonna do something tonight.