Saturdays rock. I had choir practice in the morning and spent the rest of the afternoon with Alex's at Stephen's house. Before I arrived, I called Stephen and we talked for awhile. He said he finally got his Playstation and his own (bootleg) copy of Dance Revolution. Cool! So I went over his house--condo, actually. He, Alex and John Kim live in a condo community outside the village I live in. Anyway, the maid told me to go up to Stephen's room which was locked, in case John would arrive and make one of his "grand" entrances--scaring the bullshit out of everyone.

I'll tell you about those "grand" entrances. Once, I was at Alex's room, doing the Dance Revolution thing. Since I was a beginner then, the smallest things distracted me, so I requested that sacred atmosphere be maintained when it was my turn. So caught up was I with the dance that I failed to notice that Alex and Stephen had run down to answer the door. Then suddenly, John Kim burst in the room yelling, "SURPRISE!" Okay, so my moronic brain knew that, but the rest of my body didn't so they acted upon impulse. In that moment of shock, my legs ricocheted me up the ceiling, my mouth and vocal cords formed the words, "F**K YOU!" and everyone else was rolling on the floor with laughter. God. Lauren--scared half to death by an 11-year old boy who is way taller than she is. How humiliating.

Anyway (Why the hell did I allow the topic to be directed to my embarassing moments?), Stephen kept hopping around like an excited bunny when I arrived. Literally. He kept going in and out of his room and up and down the stairs. Finally, I figured out what the excitement was all about. His mom was going to meet me, and she was real excited about it. Well, she should be. I'm practically a celebrity right now. I mean, tons of people read my website and I'm actually getting some fan mail. And you know, meeting a celebrity is a once-in-a-lifetime experience (if you think I'm being a tad bit braggy, just think of it as "problem-celebrity". If you do not know what that means, ask your shrink about it). So I was like, "Sure, no problem." His face broke into a happy grin after hearing my response and said, "Cool! Let's go down; lunch is ready."

"Lunch?" I asked.

Stephen nodded enthusiastically. "Yup, we're having lunch with my folks!"

Umm, uh-oh.

Now, I may be very well-adjusted to people my age and a tad bit older, but I don't think I ever hit off very well with their parents. I shudder as I recall the last time I met a friend's parents. I was at Dina house, with Trina because it was her birthday. We were having lunch, and they served fried chicken. Since I wanted her parents to think I was a poised young lady, I decided to cut my chicken wing up with a knife instead of eating it with my fingers. I was cutting along very nicely when--thoiing--my fork lost its hold on the chicken, causing it (the chicken) to ricochet to the middle of the table.

Ugh.

When I reached the kitchen, I saw a lady in her mid-50s wearing curlers. She must be, I guessed, Stephen's mother. Ulp.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Lauren," Stephen said proudly. "Good afternoon," I said politely before I stretched my face muscles into what was an attempt to smile. And then she--get this--reached up and pinched my cheek. Not very hard, just lightly.

"You're a very pretty young lady," she said, smiling. Well.

So far so good, I thought as I sank down a chair in the dining room. That is, until I saw what we were having for lunch: fried chicken. This time, I learned my lesson. I ate with my fingers.

How was the rest of the lunch? I don't know. I mean, I cannot remember anything. What I do remember was that I was totally petrified, especially when Stephen's dad joined us in the dining room. I am totally clueless on how to act around parents. I don't know what I should do in order to make a good impression. I sat silently throughout the rest of the meal, with Stephen and Alex running the conversation I usually participate very well in.

Finally, Stephen said, "Okay, let's go back upstairs and practice." Whew! So much for being in Poised Land. Thanking his parents quickly for the meal, I waited for Alex to get up first (so I wouldn't appear so rude) before I rushed out of the dining room.

"Stephen, I'm gonna kill you!" I screamed when I was sure we were out of earshot. "You didn't say anything about lunch! You should have told me about it like, thirty-two years in advance so I would have time to prepare for it, but you didn't!"

"Why? What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm afraid of parents," I replied in a small voice. "I never know how to act when I'm around them."

"Well, I didn't know that. Sorry. I'll make sure it won't happen again," he said. But I knew he didn't feel bad about it. Alex is a parent-hater herself.

The rest of the day went pretty fine. Stephen called John up so we could beat him in Dance Revolution but the moron showed up the moment I left. Stephen told me he's afraid of new people, and would probably be avoiding me the next few weeks, unless I could get to know him faster. Damn. I was planning on beating him on Paranoia 180 so justice could be avenged. Now I'll never have the chance. The three of them are going back to Stephen's place to dance some more at 9:30 (actually, it's 9:30 already) and somehow I don't feel so bad about being left out. This Dance Revolution thing is beginning to get to me and besides, I have to catch up with my sleep. Goodnight.