Hi, this is like my second entry for today (duh). I dunno why, but I just felt like writing today. Gayle left for North Carolina (USA) with her mom and the rest of the tae kwon do team yesterday. Damn, I forgot to call her on Saturday and wish her good luck! It's probably well that I didn't because I bet she'd be in the gym and I wouldn't be able to talk to her just the same. I'm going to miss her tons. She's coming back the week after Exam Week, lucky girl. She's going to take make-up exams of course, and I wish I was her because in my opinion, I think taking make-up exams is more fun than taking the exams with everyone else. But then everyone else would go, "Haha, we're done with it and you're not" but then hey, there's always a bad side to everything.

Anyway, the reason why I'm a tad bit pissed is because of Casey. Really. Mark told me this afternoon that the reason why he didn't meet me, or even call me, when I was in LA was because Casey told him not to. Reason? Cause Casey said his mom thought my mom was a psycho. Now Mark regrets listening to Casey. Now don't feel bad about this Mark because it explains a lot of things and I really need to vent this out. I really didn't want to talk about this but this bothered me a lot.

Okay, for the sake of this journal entry , let's just assume that what Mark said was correct because he can't remember what Casey said exactly .[I tried to email casey but my emails bounced back, so I didn't get his side of the story] .

I know I've called my mom a couple of mean stuff. I know I've been quite rude to her sometimes. But nobody, and I mean NOBODY else is supposed to be mean to her. Except me, but I'm allowed to. Argh, I can't find the exact words to explain it but then, DO YA'LL GETTING MY POINT? None of you are allowed to say stuff about my mom. Ever. Or I'm going to kick your ass. Really. And as for Casey, well, he's vanished from the face of the earth because some person has been harassing him, his friends and even me.

Casey also said some shit that he was forced to meet me because my mom had already bought the plane tickets. Now that is real bullshit. First of all, I was not forcing anyone to meet me . If you wanted to, sure go ahead, but if you didn't want to, oh well, too bad. The thing is, I asked him a lot of times if he was sure about it and he was like, "i'll be happy to see you" and one time after a brief fight, he mentioned " yah, well good, but gosh, we are meeting aren't we?". Second, the plane tickets ( from Florida to St. Louis ) were part of the choir concert tour package and St. Louis to Kansas City was just a bonus trip. Oh well, at least the whole trip to Kansas City wasn't an entire waste cause I was able to see Derek.

What Mark told me explains a lot of mysterious stuff that has happened between Casey and me. I should have noticed the signs because in 1998 , after my US trip , Martin acted cold and distant to me and I found out much later that his mom didn't like me . See this entry about how I felt about Martin's mom (Martin's mom likes me now after our second meeting this year according to Martin). So I really think that it caused Casey acting distant towards me and I bugged him about it till it blew up to a fight.

Oh well, I can't blame him for listening to his mom. That's his mom. But it's so sad because before I went to KC his mom told me over the phone that she was like looking forward to meeting me. And when I was there, I really liked her because she was sweet and funny. To protect Casey I didn't contradict her when she pointed out the computer where Casey supposedly talked to me for hours ( when in fact we don't chat for hours). So why did Casey think he was forced to meet me? Obviously something must have happened from the time I left Kansas City. Because from what I recalled, his last words to me were like " I'm happy you came over". Now is that something you say to someone who was forced to meet you? He must be a great actor if he didn't mean all what he told me and that whole day we spent together.

No wonder things changed to bad after I left Kansas city. I bet this was one of those reasons.

I feel sorry for Casey that he had to feel all this shit about meeting me and my family of psychos. He didn't have to feel all that crap for nothing if only he was honest with me. All these months of fighting were such a waste of emotions for something so untrue. ugh!

I'm having kylee, my cat neutered tomorrow cause he's pissing all over the house.